EUNICE

 

BORn

Dagenham

 

year of birth

1985

 

 

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"The main way that I get through commuting in London is the fact I have these headphones. I can shut out the rest of the world, so I can’t hear if people are cat calling and referencing the fact I am female in public."

 

I picked these headphones because I wear these everywhere. They are purple because this was the colour I picked a while back that was the easiest for me.

The main way that I get through commuting in London is the fact I have these headphones. I can shut out the rest of the world, so I can’t hear if people are cat calling and referencing the fact I am female in public. Once I have my headphones on, I don’t hear any of that. In this sense, the fact that I am female has more of an impact on my everyday life, rather than the fact I am Chinese.

I remember when I was 11 years old, walking home from the station to my parents’ house and being cat called on that road. People would just, you know, comment on things that I am a ‘Chinese school girl’ like ‘Asian school girl’ or people shouting a derogatory leng neui (pretty girl). I remember this happening all throughout my teens and early 20s.

A part of the reason why they are so brightly coloured is to indicate to other people: do not try to talk to me, I will ignore you. Sometimes it’s not even playing music, the headphones signal: I am not listening to you. They are not noise cancelling because I don’t feel safe if I cannot hear anything.

Since I got these headphones, I’ve not had another cat call. Either these have become an indication that I can’t hear them or I’ve aged out of that age. With these headphones, I am in a little bubble where I can live in and that means that I can travel round and it’s absolutely fine and I don’t feel the impact of being female in public.  

 
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我選這個耳機是因為我到哪裡都帶著它。它是紫色的,因為我之前選它的時候覺得這個最方便。

我的耳機讓我撐過倫敦的通勤時光。我可以隔絕外部世界,就聽不到挑逗聲提醒我作為一個女性出現在公共場合。就此而言,作為女性,比作為華人對我平常生的影響更大。

如果我把耳機帶著我就聽不到這些聲音了。當我11歲的時候,我從車站走回父母的家,就聽到有人在路上挑逗我。人們就會說我是一個華人學生妹,或者亞洲學生妹,或者有人會用貶義詞「靚女」朝我喊。我記得從我青年時代到20歲出頭這時時發生。

我選顏色鮮艷的耳機其中一個原因就是它能表明我不想有人和我講話,我希望別人忽視我。有時我並沒聽音樂。這個耳機只是一個信號,說明我不想聽你講。但是它不是降噪的,因為如果我什麼都聽不到我會覺得不安全。

自從我有這幅耳機之後,我就再沒有聽到過別人挑逗我了。可能這個耳機象徵著我聽不到他們,或者我已經過了那個年齡。帶著耳機,我可以生活在一個小氣泡裡面,我可以隨處遊蕩。這對我來說很好,我不會因為自己作為女性出現公共場合而受到影響。